The past few weeks have been tumultuous, to say the least but, first off, apologies for going 'off radar'. It's not something I like to have happen but sometimes life gets in the way.
'Life getting in the way' seems to be happening more and more often to me lately, as I deal with the various curve balls that Life likes to throw at me. As I often say, I do not drink alcohol (anymore) or do drugs (ditto) to deal with my problems. Yes, I used to shop and hoard more than anything to handle my anxiety disorder but, when I discovered blogging as an outlet, my life began to turn itself around. Also, the comments that readers kindly leave always offer me a different perspective and, too, encouragement as I struggle to stay on the high road. I always appreciate the viewpoints that other people have to offer and so not writing here in my journal becomes detrimental to me in the long run. Having said that, I hope that everyone reading today is in good health and coping with their own life situations as well as possible.
Here's what's been going on around here over the past few weeks in a nutshell:
1. One of my kids eloped. Yes, we had our very own Las Vegas style elopement. Absolutely no one in the family on either side knew of the nuptials until just recently and guess what? It happened almost a year ago.
My son chose to suddenly tell me of the marriage out of the clear blue sky and, obviously, not with the blessings of The Chosen One. The Chosen One (standing off to the side and as secretive as ever) was aghast that The Big Reveal was made without its permission, as was the rest of the family who happened to be right there when The Big Reveal suddenly came barging out of my offspring's voice box. The admission was just blurted out without warning and we all just stood there with our mouths OPEN. This, after spending $200 on dinner while we discussed and planned the wedding for 2014. And The Chosen One is just one of the most untrustworthy people I have ever met in my life to begin with.
The Chosen One has already proved itself to be a liar and a manipulator but my offspring is either blinded or complicit .... I cannot decide which it is at this point. Anyway, we all just stood there like fish out of water as we realized we'd been HAD. Especially me, who over the weeks had driven miles and miles to check out different wedding venues and different wedding dresses with The Chosen One. I like to put on a good front but, seriously, I am getting SICK of being manipulated by these fucked up types. The Chosen One is possibly and quite probably mentally ill because the ease with which it lies and spins yarns is astounding. Cool as a cucumber, is how I like to put it. Sociopath is how a psychiatrist might describe it.
Anyway, I have spent hours in bridal salons with The Chosen One, The Mother, and sundry other relatives as The Chosen One paraded around in expensive wedding gowns, batting her eyes and hinting that she'd like us all to pay for her dream wedding. Thank goodness I only had to spend 3 days over one weekend doing that with her family in tow. She must've tried on several hundred damn dresses and there wasn't enough champagne available, I've come to realize, because I didn't get plastered.
So there you have it. My son was secretly married and had been for almost a year. Upon first hearing the news, I will admit that I was relieved. I was. After spending time with The Chosen One and her entourage and realizing what a huge event this woman had in mind, I found myself wondering who was going to pay for it all? I knew that the spouse and I would have to cough up because that is what you do, that is what is expected. Now, we no longer feel that we have to cough up ANYTHING. They are already married and by the time they get 'married' again, they will have been husband and wife for almost TWO YEARS.
But, here's the kicker. They don't want anyone else to know that they are married. The only people who know right now are the parents on both sides and the siblings. And don't forget! The only reason that the spouse and I know about it is because our son just suddenly decided to blurt it out otherwise we'd still be in the dark right now, along with everyone else. Their plan is to tell everyone at the wedding venue, after they have renewed their vows, that they've been married all along and, honestly, I don't know how I feel about that. I know that if I voice my opinion that it's a deceptive plan, The Chosen One will get pissed off and throw a pouty tantrum worthy of any 30-something woman. She is highly secretive and she is weird and she is deriving great pleasure in the knowledge that she has taken our experience of seeing our son get married for the first time away from us so I say FUCK YOU, LADY. And I'm sorry if I have offended anyone with my choice of words but that is how I feel.
Moving on. This leads me to the next curve ball that has been hurled at me .......
2. My Health. Reason #1 why my son may have suddenly felt that deception was no longer working for him is because I received yet another diagnosis of dysplastic cells. I underwent major cancer surgery some time ago and, since then, I have attended every cancer screening appointment diligently. Several times, minor surgery has been needed to remove tissue that is showing signs of dysplasia but, with my blood tests coming back with suspicious numbers, more investigation is needed this time. I am scheduled for surgery in 2 weeks time. There is no obvious sign of cancer at this point but it is a bastard of a disease. It seems that once it has dug its fingers in, it always returns. With a vengeance. I'm not too worried but I am making strides in getting this house cleaned up and organized because, let's face it, I'm not getting any younger and we've all got an expiration date anyway. I am lucky that I have made it this far in life, truly. I could just as easily get creamed on the freeway, which almost happened (again) last week. Every time we leave the house, there is a possibility we may not walk back through that front door so I am keeping things in perspective and not freaking out. With age comes wisdom and strength, I have found, and I will ride this out with as much dignity as I can muster if it comes down to it.
So, anyway, seeing as how we had this big wedding planned for 2014, I figured that my house would be full of out-of-town guests and so should begin preparations now which brings me to .....
3. Home Upgrades. After dealing with one set of lousy workmen, who I fired after I caught one of them smoking either crack or meth in the garage I never found out which, I finally found a group who promised to have my upgrades done within a week or two. A week!! Yay!! 3 weeks later, we are still without a fully functional kitchen, the laundry room has been 'down' for the entire 3 weeks and one of our toilets is out in the back yard awaiting re-installation. These guys come and go on their own terms which, so far, has meant that days off fall on Mondays and Fridays with a bunch of tea breaks on the days in between. Meanwhile, we are living with furniture shrouded in dust cloths, construction crap everywhere and a fine white powder that covers EVERYTHING. Not to mention, various strange people tromping all over the house, up and down the stairs, in and out of every damn door in the place. The spouse has decreed that we need a break from this chaos and so has given the workers a time limit this week: whatever isn't done by tomorrow will have to wait until after my surgery. Oh joy. That means that we still have only one bathtub in which to bathe because every single shower is out of commission. One bathtub for the multitude. For the next however long. Great.
I am guessing that my son saw the lengths to which we were going to prepare for his wedding and so felt guilty enough to spill his guts. No matter. This is all work that needed to be done anyway so I'm not angry about that. Once these upgrades are done, the house will be almost finished. It's like 'The Money Pit' ...... I'm not even angry really about the fact that he is already married. What I don't like is his sneaky, manipulative, lying wife. He could've done much, much better and forgive me, please, for writing that because I really do believe that he has married a sociopath and that, at some point in the future, he is going to need us. That's if The Chosen One doesn't kill him first, either directly or indirectly. If at any time in the future my son is unable to go out and work for the money that The Chosen One spends like water, that woman will throw him away like used Kleenex. We all just know it. In the meantime, we will suffer you, Black Widow, because we love our family member much much more than we distrust you and your sneaky underhanded motives and that's saying A LOT!!! Without my son, she is nothing. She has nothing and will not ever be anything. My son is the best thing that has ever happened to her in her whole entire life and without him she is nothing. That is a scary thought. But it's the truth.
OK, I'm stressing myself out now. Time to get off this subject.
4. Cat is still here.
5. Getting ready for the youngest child to head off to college next week.
6. Speaking of college, I will update with some financial details in a bit. I need to get back on track with my budget, especially with projections over the next 2 years.
7. The spouse and I are making efforts to communicate and to keep it together. We just went through a very rough patch but latest distractions have put petty squabbles on the back burner for now.
So that's it. Forgive me if I go 'off radar' over the next month or so. Normal programming will resume.
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